Benefits of taking your bonus child on a date

Having a family is such a wonderful gift, its not every person who experiences love and hate from family members, ultimately what I am saying is that there are people who do not have any relationship whatsoever with their family members. If you are able to still have some sort of communication good or bad, consider yourself lucky!

How does one then build stronger bonds with their loved ones and especially with their bonus kids? As daunting as it may feel to invite a child who is currently in conflict with you on a date, or when the relationship is strained, why don’t you give it a try?

Where to start?

Invite them for something as simple as ice cream (anything that you know they’d enjoy because you have to show them that you’ve been listening and paying attention), or take them to something that you enjoy and let them know why you do, let them into your world so they can grow to know and understand you better. You can even ask them to suggest a place they would like to go to, the options are endless....it all begins with the invitation.

I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

1. They could say no! (That’s okay, respect their decision, give it time, then try again next time).

2. You can come back feeling worse than before. (Coming back having learnt something new about your bonus child and the status of your relationship, and when reflecting back you will realise and learn how to better manage the issue).

3. If you have your own biological child they may feel left out (this teaches you to communicate your intentions better, and your child sharing skills - remember to always acknowledge their feelings).

Let‘s get to the benefits already!

1. stronger bond with your bonus child

2. you can have your own special relationship outside of their biological parents

3. there is new found respect for each other

4. a happier and thriving home

Get Inspired

Have you tried to go on a one on one date with your bonus child? How was it, do share your story? If you haven’, what’s been holding you back?

For me it’s really been an amazing journey, I’ve had the most interesting conversations with my bonus children on these dates and they have worked wonders for our relationship.

Yours In Love

Zama Mkhize

Blended In Love SA